Clean Canteen, Seminyak

It came in a text message,

We suggest to end our partnership now, you don’t need to put in any [further] work.

Less than six weeks into our relationship, our partner quit.

We know that physical, intellectual and emotional investment is high early in the relationship; and, it levels out into some form of normalcy as we get comfortable with each other, begin to understand each others’ communication and build trust. Just like any relationship, the time this takes varies depending on the level of commitment of each party.

In our minds, we had walked down the aisle and said “I do” in front of all that love us. We committed. However, it turned out that we were merely a summer fling that ended in tears and heartbreak all too soon.

Why didn’t they love us?

We showed them our best self. We showed them what was possible for them. We even stopped going to all the other parties to be with them all summer.

What did we do wrong?

Were we too enthusiastic? Were our expectations too high? Did we not give enough?

They said,

I just want to point out that this is nothing personally (sic). We need to make this decision for our business. We need to make sure to go forward very fast. Every day we are not making a progress is like a step backwards.

Oh . . .

When our intention is to help our clients improve their operations, we are really excited about it. We offer strategies and tools that help them achieve very specific business objectives. What’s important is that the work is all about them. We put ourselves aside and make impossible things happen for our clients.

So, what happens when they leave you because of the thing they said they loved most about you?

In this case, our client fell in love with our minds – our ability to harness strategic marketing opportunities in everything we do. They did love how we looked too – our sexy proposal for the image they wanted for themselves. We were attracted to their simple naivety and knew we could introduce them to a world they had never imagined before. It was hot and passionate.

When the question at the forefront of our thinking is “what can we do to give you a life you love?” we start behaving differently. We can’t assume anything and must undertake lots of research into what makes them ‘them.’ We want to know their objectives and understand the challenges they’re facing. We get ready for dates with their happiness in mind, not ours.

And then,


It’s better to terminate the agreement now.


The summer holiday is over. Everyone is going home. When all is said and done, reflection begins.

My mother once said to me,

Don’t do anything on your first date that you won’t be willing to do for the rest of your life.

What did we do on our first date that we don’t want to do again?

We were willing to do whatever it takes to have the relationship – at all costs. Whilst this enthusiasm and commitment to the future may be enviable, the price we paid was allowing our partner to violate our boundaries. In allowing them to get to first base without any resistance, we allowed them to hit a home run and lose all respect for us.

There was no going back. The “yes” could not be converted into a “no” without admitting shame and regret. We didn’t only lose our summer lover, we lost our self-respect.

In reality, any situation may not turn out to be what we had hoped for. We may be disappointed, but is the upset any less if we were less committed, less enthusiastic? Disappointment is a short-term unpleasant emotion that will fade with time. We will not let that fear of getting hurt get in the way of grasping the positive opportunities that present themselves to us every day.

We will embrace the good fortune we have; store the memory; relive it to remind ourselves of what we have learned; and, know that, whatever happens, nothing can take away that experience.

In the words of the great Bruce Lee,

Learning is a constant process of discovery – a process that never ends.